


Bleed Out

by Blueempire



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, friends try to help each other, post kh3 remind, some fluff because they deserve it, these children need a therapist, they also need a lot of hugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26590900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueempire/pseuds/Blueempire
Summary: Roxas, Xion, and Axel start their new lives free from Organization XIII. By now, their battle wounds from the Keyblade War are almost healed, but they find out there are old, deeper ones that need to be tended.Unfortunately, Curagas don’t fix everything.(Post KH3 Remind)
Relationships: Axel & Roxas & Saïx & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Axel & Roxas & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Axel & Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Axel & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Roxas/Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas/Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know how positively Kingdom Hearts affected our mental health. In fact, WHO seems to recommend video games as a way to cope with this pandemic. 
> 
> They should hurry up and recommend this game to everyone.
> 
> That said, I think we all agree that these children need therapy.

“Today makes 387…”

“Huh? What’s that about?” Xion asked, her sea salt ice cream momentarily forgotten in her right hand.

He felt Axel jolt as he turned his head to look at him, surprise and recognition flashing across his emerald eyes, but he didn’t utter a single word.

“It’s been that many days since I first got my name,” Roxas answered, a small smile adorning his face.

Xion stared at him, frowning. “So… You got the number memorized, do you?” Silence stretched until both Axel and Roxas settled in small giggles, clearly amused by Xion’s words as she had just said a joke she was not aware of, earning a raised eyebrow from the girl.

Roxas turned to his left and stared into her confused blue eyes. How much he had missed his best friend. She looked exactly the same as when she first pulled her hood down and revealed her face to him, muttering his name so quietly, her melodic voice like the strings of a violin, that Roxas thought he had dreamed it. She also looked the same as when she was slowly fading to oblivion in his arms. Roxas shivered at his last thought and averted his gaze to his hands instead.

“Yeah. Have to hang onto something, right?” He felt Xion’s gaze hardening and Axel tensing beside him. “It’s not like I have memories from before… You know…” Roxas shifted his ice cream in his hands in attempts to distract him from the lump forming in his throat.

“But I have memories now. I have a past of my own. Thanks to Sora, I’m able to be here with you guys and carry on as my own persona.” He lowered his head, eyes closing in the process, and darkness engulfed him whole. “I… I just wished some things were different.”

* * *

Xehanort was finally gone and alongside him, Xemnas and Organization XIII. He barely made it on time before the coward could pierce Xion’s chest with his lightsaber and had him sealing the same fate for Axel. Thankfully, Ienzo had his replica ready and waiting for his heart, and as soon as he was out of Sora, with adrenaline rushing through his veins and the driving need to save his friends, it felt like time had stopped for him. He was ready to finish what he started when he last returned to the World that Never Was. At least, before he clashed with Riku and got his memory wiped clean.

Much to his dissatisfaction, Xemnas had fled with Kairi earlier in the fight, the latter contorting herself painfully in his grip, unable to escape, leaving him, Sora, and Xion to face off against Saix, with Axel feeling way too weak and injured to carry on the fight against his formal best friend. Honestly, he didn’t mind taking the redhead’s place. Saix was on his list as well. He hardly noticed Sora and Xion fighting together with him, so encircled in his fury, blinding him to the point of unleashing light combos one after the other, until he felt something giving and the next thing he knew, an ascending column of darkness spired towards the sky and Saix was gripping his claymore until he fell to his knees, breathing erratic from the combat and the pain assoiling his body.

If it hadn’t been for Saix’s confession and his display of sorrow towards his old friend, Roxas had run after Xemnas as soon as he was done with the berserk man. Despite his previous rage giving way to a faint taste of revenge underneath his tongue, Roxas couldn’t ignore the regret and shame when Saix’s eyes darted briefly to him and Xion - after admitting he was jealous of the new friends his old friend had made, as if he knew it was wrong in the first place, when Saix had been the first to sacrifice his and Axel’s friendship and their real goal of finding their missing friend, losing himself to the darkness to attain an old man’s purpose - along with a sense of understanding and… Was that empathy?

Once he may have argued against the idea but with Saix lying there, hurt in his friend’s lap, fading into darkness, he realized that, in the end, Saix was no different from them.

Higher ranks, higher chairs, none of that mattered. In the whole picture, he was nothing. He was just another puppet in Xehanort’s plan. Always had been. Once he completed his part, he was ready to be discarded.

He felt himself freeze in his spot, a pain too familiar coming to the surface once again.

Was that why he could barely meet Roxas’ eyes? His past actions weighting with the approach of nothingness, melting in the current realization of what it felt like to be used to someone’s liking and thrown away just as easily?

_Still, that doesn’t make us “equals”._

He shifted his attention to Axel and worry clouded his mind. His best friend was wounded and, at the same time, the imminent loss of a friend, perhaps forever, was something he still had to face. Roxas had no doubt Saix meant something important to Axel – he always had been the best of the Organization members at handling Saix and his “moods”, mostly due to knowing each other afore Organization XIII; often knew what he would say or do in a determined situation and which strings to pull, which pretty much worked in their favor when Xion couldn’t summon her Keyblade and collect hearts. Alas, he always had a suspicion Saix had agreed with both him and Xion working together only because Axel had suggested to. Or insisted on. Details.

When Saix faded away, he involuntarily gasped alongside Xion and reached for his best friend, the scene triggering undesired memories he wished he could forget, and suddenly he didn’t see Saix anymore – he saw Xion gently holding his right cheek, shards of light glowing brightly until they dimmed out, leaving nothing but a single shell behind; he saw Axel, bruised and utterly tired and defeated, covered in old and new cuts, trying to keep his jokester side even though his eyes were filled with something bright and wet as death pulled at him – and Roxas’ lungs stopped working and his heart clenched in his chest for himself. For Axel.

The redhead, in his turn, managed a forced smile and rose to his shaky feet, quickly instructing Sora to go help Kairi, deliberately trying to divert everyone’s attention from his wellbeing and the sad scene that had taken place a few moments ago.

Sometimes, Axel’s way of dealing with icky situations irked him. Later, he would find out this was one of those times.

With a new resolve in mind, Sora wished them luck and disappeared deeper into the maze, the trio watching him go, leaving Roxas wondering if he shouldn’t have gone together with him, not because he didn’t feel like Sora couldn’t handle the challenges ahead - hell he had proven time after time, fight after fight, to be more than capable - but because Roxas could feel a strain in his heart, a type he had never felt before during the time he was asleep inside it. Surely, he had felt Sora’s pain and the boy had felt his, yet this was distinctive. Something faint but steadily growing.

He chose to ignore it for the time and turned to Axel, who crossed his arms and mumbled something to himself about what to do then. Apparently, he had so obsessively planned to get his friends back, no matter what, that he forgot to plan what to do next.

Roxas found that quite humorous coming from the guy whose ingenious strategies had saved them from turning into Dusks more than once.

He stepped forward in his best friend’s direction, causing Axel to snap out of his thoughts. Roxas smiled at him and Axel smiled back, his eyes mirroring the blond’s – relief, happiness, longing, warm – a look conveying a thousand words.

Through the mutual silence came sobs, growing loudly over time, and they saw Xion stepping forward, tears streaming down her cheeks and hands clasped tightly over one another to minimize the shaking, like a child who needed reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

Roxas hated to see Xion distressed. The fact that she was crying as well made it worse.

He rapidly strode to her side, worry plastered on his face. Why? Why was she crying? Did she got hurt during the fight and Roxas hadn’t noticed? Did Xemnas or Saix manage to land a critical hit? He felt his hands turning cold and his stomach churning at the possibility that he had failed to keep her safe yet again.

Before his thoughts spiraled out of control, Axel spoke as if on cue. “I guess I should have brought some ice cream,” he said sheepishly, scratching his head in embarrassment. It seemed enough to stop her weeping. Her pink lips turned upwards in response to him.

On the surface, it was a joke. A comment to lighten the mood. If somebody heard the redhead, they would assume it was just for celebration. Like he would bring a “welcome back” cake to the Keyblade Graveyard if only he had time to bake it.

Although, there were many layers to it only the three of them knew. That salty and sweet dessert was one of the pillars of their friendship. A physical representation of their moments together – their fights and runs mixed perfectly with laugher and companionship.

_The icing on the cake_

_This is such a great spot… How’d you find it?_

_Bet you don’t know why the sun sets red!_

_I can’t use the Keyblade anymore_

_I knew you’d be here_

_Roxas, Axel, thank you!_

_So, you do have something you can’t bear to lose_

_You and I might be “special”, Roxas. But that doesn’t mean we are the same_

_Wanna go look for her?_

_It’s just not the same without all three of us…_

_As long as we keep each other in our thoughts, we’ll never be apart_

_You’ll be better off now, Roxas_

_Finding out the truth doesn’t always work out for the best!_

_See you again_

**_Who else will I have ice cream with?_ **

Nostalgia hit him hard, memories slashing through him again and again as he took in the words and presence of the ones he missed the most.

But how could he feel this way when they were right in front of him? It was like he was still suffering from the absence of both of his best friends, even though they were at arm’s reach.

He guessed the answer was because he had glimpsed a future where none of the three could be no more.

Somehow, destiny changed its course.

No. Not “somehow”.

Sora gave him a new opportunity. His Sora. His other half, his half-pint.

Roxas laughed and felt his eyes starting to burn and his vision became blurry, chest flooded. Axel lost it almost instantly at the sight, green eyes turning bloodshot, salty tears welling upon them, and none of them held back anymore.

The redhead ran up to them and pressed him and Xion against his chest in a tight hug, desperate for contact, anchoring them in the moment against a longstanding tide of loneliness, remorse, and reminiscence.

Roxas rested his forehead against his pectoral and felt Xion do the same. He extended his arms and gripped both of their silhouettes in a firm yet gentle hold.

There, surrounded by the ruins of an ancient city and thousands of rusty keyblades from perished children, Roxas allowed himself to cry his heart out.

* * *

By the time they let go, wiped their faces against their coat's sleeves, and caught up with the others, Sora, Mickey, and Riku had faced and, unsurprisingly, defeated the original Xehanort trio. Xehanort, the old geezer, lacked a piece of darkness but Xemnas had taken Kairi hostage for a reason.

While Sora went after Xehanort for their final battle, it had been up to them to keep Kingdom Hearts contained. They even fought against armored replicas of Xehanort with the rest of the guardians, one blond an exact clone of himself. He tried not to think too hard about it. His life was already messed up as it was.

Even in the grimmest situations, he had so much faith in Sora, his heart knew the boy would triumph. He wasn’t wrong.

Kingdom Hearts was locked and disappeared into the sky, the black clouds of darkness and destruction dissipated along with it and the heroes were met with the last rays of a gentle sunset. It was all over now.

The fights and emotions worn them all out but with Kairi still absent, Sora’s journey was far from over. So, the guardians parted ways with the Keyblade Hero and returned to the Mysterious Tower.

Master Yen Sid and the fairies awaited them at the entrance, all smiles, and congratulations. The old wizard scanned them, one by one, acknowledging each guardian and furrowed his brow when he didn’t see a particular pair of azure eyes and spiky hair.

“Where’s Sora? And Kairi?”

Mickey cleared his throat. “Hm… You see, Master… Sora had to-“

“Sora and Kairi are together. They’re fine.” Riku interrupted, calmly and confidently. The wizard regarded him for some time, but the silver-haired boy didn’t waver. At last, Master Yen Sid closed his eyes and nodded, resigned by the explanation, and headed inside.

Despite the awkward exchange, the fairies wasted no time in shoving them inside, hurrying them along, complaining about how they had been cooking a banquet for the heroes and everything was turning cold as if a few hours ago, they didn’t have a bigger problem than some lukewarm soup.

Amidst the confusion, Roxas chose to stay behind, outside. He rolled his head back and contemplated the view. He had never seen those many stars. Constellations decorated the space, so many he hadn’t heard or observed before, all around him bathing him in a pale light.

Actually, he wasn’t sure he ever beheld a star before, let alone a constellation. When he went on his missions to other worlds, the priority usually was on solid ground. He could only view an endless, obscure sky barely illuminated by artificial, cold light and the fake Kingdom Hearts when he peered out his bedroom window in the World That Never Was. And Twilight Town... Well... DiZ hadn’t bothered to create a night simulation for his data version of the city.

Maybe Roxas had glimpsed some stars, but he never quite _seen_ them.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Next to him, Xion gazed in the same wonder as him.

Roxas believed he could see shooting stars reflected in her eyes. “Yeah…”

“Did you know that the stars can make you find your way home?” Axel asked, a few steps behind them.

Xion turned to him. “What? Really?”

Axel nodded. “They provide directions. It’s especially useful when you’re lost.”

Roxas didn’t quite understand how, however, as he took in the scenery above him, through the glimmer of celestial bodies, he began to perceive a familiar location taking shape.

“I’m not sure if I even have a home, but there’s a place I’d like to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine if we got to explore the damage left by Xehanort and Organization XIII on this trio. Nomura, I'm ready.
> 
> Well, I better go. It's 4 am and I just wasted all of my vocabulary.
> 
> Your opinions are much appreciated so leave a few words below. Ly


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be mad if nobody, after one year of absence, thought of calling or texting Sora to find out where he is.
> 
> Then again, there's probably 20 missed calls from his mom and Sora thought he might as well be dead.

Xion learned many skills in Organization XIII – dodge rolling, gliding, air sliding, high jumping, making potions and elixirs, how to use her last strength as a powerful limit break, healing herself and others as well as burning, freezing, and paralyzing enemies – but cooking was not one of them.

The kitchen at the castle had barely any use - the stove and oven were practically new, the marble countertops always clean and the aluminum cookware shining and spotless. The microwave and the coffee pot, however, were the only signs of activity.

They mostly had pre-made food or take out, occasionally some ramen, and fruit. The pantry was huge, but it had never been fully stocked; the fridge harbored some leftovers, milk, yogurts, butter, and cheese.

For breakfast, the residents either chose to have a straight black cup of coffee, a piece of fruit, cereal, and milk or toast made from old bread someone had frozen who knew how many weeks ago.

Xion was used to have a cup of burnt, dark coffee, or some dry, flavorless cornflakes with milk until one day, she caught Axel red-handed stealing Demyx’s chocolate cereals for himself. He ended up pouring a bowl for Xion as well, insisting her to try. During the first mouthful, she decided it was better than her insipid cereals.

When she asked him why he wouldn’t buy a box of his own, Axel shrugged and kept eating - it wasn’t like they were expensive or anything.

She got her answer one morning when they heard screaming in the kitchen. Suddenly, Demyx barged in the common area, face scarlet, fists shaking.

“A CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED!” the blond shouted for everyone to hear.

Xigbar, who was sitting in one of the grey couches, opened his arms wide. “Welcome to Organization XIII!”

Demyx ignored the comment and looked around the room. “I’m serious! Who ate my Cocoa Puffs?!"

"I guess the proper answer would be… "Nobody"," Axel stated, casually, causing the members to snigger.

On the opposite end of the room, Saix narrowed his eyes, an icy cold stare momentarily freezing the mullet in the spot, not even the slight bit amused at the exchange.

“Why are you fussing over kids’ cereal? Have a mug of coffee like everybody else!” Xaldin grunted.

“I’d rather poison myself!” Demyx barked.

Xaldin waved him off. “Go on and eat some Tide pods, then.”

“Enough!” Saix said, raising his voice an octave higher from his normal tone, his face contorting into an angry scowl, “This isn’t a playground. Get to your missions!”

Demyx went on his mission on an empty stomach, even though he tried to sneak back to the kitchen without Saix seeing, failing miserably. Xion felt so guilty, she bought 2 boxes of Cocoa Puffs after eating sea salt ice cream with Axel and Roxas, before she RTC, and placed them in the pantry, next to other goods Demyx’s had purchased.

On the other hand, breakfast at Mysterious Tower was… Exquisite.

On top of the large and elongated oak table, they had dined in last night, stood a big variety of breakfast dishes Xion had never tasted before. Alone in the room, she bent forward to take a closer inspection.

Brown chocolate cookies; gingerbread men with blue and green buttons; white seashells with egg filling; stacks of pancakes dripping in maple syrup; crepes sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar; a plate of red, purple, yellow, green, and blue macarons; a basket full of fluffy strawberry, blueberry, and lemon cupcakes; a red velvet cheesecake; carrot cake with chocolate glazing; sponge cake covered in a snowy cream and carefully rearranged small triangular pieces of pineapple in its 2 layers; donuts covered in rainbow dust. Jars with fresh-squeezed orange juice, warm milk, green matcha tea, and expresso were placed in the middle.

It looked absolutely delicious and Xion’s stomach grumbled in agreement.

Perhaps she woke up too early, the others still resting a bit more due to the extreme exhaustion and exertion their bodies had been put through. She remembered Axel almost falling face flat on his pudding and Roxas' eyelids blinking rapidly from time to time to clear the sleepy gaze. Even Donald, Goofy, or King Mickey didn't find any strength to make chit chat. Terra had his elbows resting on the table, a glazed stare at a point in the wall; Ventus, who looked an exact copy of Roxas, was slumped forward, barely awake; Aqua kept trying to sit upright in a correct posture but would jerk every time she felt her eyes close. Riku used his right hand to support his head, shielding half of his face, shoulders sank. Master Yen Sid hadn’t joined them for dinner.

Sora's absence didn't help improve the mood. In reality, the brunet boy would never allow glooms or frowns, especially when they were supposed to be celebrating. _Especially_ , near food.

Thinking of the brunet boy, the raven-haired girl placed a hand over her heart. Her connection to Sora was there, although it felt thin and brittle. It was nothing compared to her last days of existence, when his memories flooded her to a point she felt like drowning, head throbbing painfully while she gasped for air and release. It had been so overwhelming and devastating, she remembered pleading countless times to Roxas, inside her head, to destroy her. To erase her from this world. To cease her pain.

At last, once Roxas’ keyblade slashed through her in a final blow and she found herself fading away, a sense of peace evaded her soul. She was broken, her body cracked, and Sora’s memories were flowing out of her and she finally, finally could breathe again.

“Oh, good morning!” a cheerful feminine voice greeted, snapping Xion out of her thoughts.

It was the blue-haired woman, Aqua. She was carrying a strawberry tart from the kitchen when she noticed the other girl.

Xion blushed. “M-morning…”

Aqua smiled and settled the tart down, near the cupcakes. “Slept well?”

“Hm… Yes, I think…” Xion had to make an effort to not start fidgeting. She felt tense being around another female presence, particularly one who was taller and transpired maturity, beauty, and skill. It didn't help her lack of experience with people of the same gender.

If Aqua had noticed Xion’s embarrassment and shy demeanor, she made no mention of it. “That’s good! Are your friends still asleep?”

Aqua’s voice made her think of a warm blanket wrapping around her. “I think so…”

Before Aqua could speak again, Ventus and Terra walked into the dining hall, throwing a couple of ‘good mornings’ to both girls. Aqua beamed at the sight of her two friends, a blinding smile adorning her face.

“Good morning to you too!” she said, leaning closer to Ventus and Terra.

Ventus grinned and looked to his left, noticing something out of the corner of his eye. “Aqua,” he started, “You made this?”

Aqua nodded. “Yes. A preserved strawberry tart. The Master’s favorite.”

“Sweet!” Ventus exclaimed, happily. He grabbed a knife and cut a piece for himself, devouring it in a blink of an eye before Aqua could protest.

“Ven!” Aqua reprimanded, “We have to wait for the others!” The blond rubbed his head in embarrassment.

“Sorry! I just missed your baking way too much!” he said, sheepishly.

Terra scanned Aqua’s face silently for a few seconds and signed. “Anything for me?”

Aqua gave Ventus a white napkin and turned to the taller man. "Of course. I made a Galactic Caramel Poundcake. I even managed to reduce the sugar from last time…” Her face fell slightly as if she realized what she had said.

Terra grabbed her bicep and squeezed it. “That’s good. Thanks.”

Xion wanted to leave. The conversation seemed private, the trio in their own flimsy bubble dealing with whatever their issues were and Xion was scared she would burst it.

Before she made her way to the door, the heavy wooden door bulged, revealing Riku and her well-rested best friends.

It didn't take long before they sat down and started to eat. King Mickey, Donald, and Goofy departed first thing in the morning to Disney Castle, homesick and anxious to see their beloveds, leaving the other guardians to enjoy breakfast without them.

“What about Master Yen Sid?” inquired Aqua.

“Do not worry about him, dear. He doesn’t do breakfast.” One fairie reassured.

“Terrible habit.” Another one said.

“Horrible.” A third one agreed.

They ate in silence, or rather, devoured the meal. Xion was so hungry, she tasted everything she could get ahold of. Even Aqua’s preserved strawberry tart. She took a bite and a sweet fruity flavor gushed over her tongue, taste buds singing.

She swallowed and raised her head to meet Aqua’s eyes. “It’s really good.”

Aqua smiled softly at her. “Oh, thank you.”

Riku, who had been reaching for a lemon cupcake at the same time as Axel, stopped and raised a silver eyebrow at the redhead. “Say, Lea…” he pulled his hand back from the basket and Axel raised an eyebrow in return. “How come you’re still wearing that coat? Didn’t Merlin give you new clothes already?”

“Yeah, he did.” He started, mouth full. He swallowed before he continued. “I just thought it made me more recognizable.”

“I didn’t recognize you for your black coat.” Ventus pipped in across the table.

Axel laughed. “To be honest, I didn’t expect you to remember me.”

So, Axel and Ventus knew each other. That was… Xion didn’t know what to think of it. Roxas averted his gaze to his empty plate and furrowed his brow.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Ventus puzzled. “You’re kinda hard to forget.” He added, jokingly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Roxas flinching as if he had been burned, his shoulders stiff with tension. Axel didn’t seem to be aware of anything.

“Well…” he took another bite of his yellow, lemony cupcake. “I’m flattered.”

* * *

It had been a while since Axel felt completely rested. Defeating evil improved sleep patterns, it seemed. That, and being on the right side of history while keeping the promises he'd made.

Promises he wasn't sure how he kept. He almost had to ask Roxas to pinch him in the Keyblade Graveyard. However, when he felt their small, trembling bodies press closer to his chest, he knew it was real. He embraced them as if he could make up for months of separation and loneliness in a hug. Tears began streaming down his cheeks and a previous reprimand emerged in his head - that he shouldn’t be weeping, it was merely an illusion of his memories - yet the voice quieted down as he heard, through the sobs, 2 heartbeats in the same tempo of his own.

That’s right. He had a heart now. He was allowed to _feel_.

Sometimes, that thought sparked a mist of fear and apprehension.

Having no emotions meant he couldn’t be content, however, it also meant he couldn't get hurt. Whatever he needed to do, he'd do it. Remorse wouldn't keep him awake at night, loneliness wouldn’t tear him apart. When past qualms clouded his mind, they were just thoughts – without a heart, he’d been able to face and label them as ‘rational’ and others ‘pure rubbish’. ‘Future’ didn’t worry him. ‘Death’ didn’t frighten him.

He no longer stressed about his parents not giving a damn about him or that his friend and the only family he ever had was becoming too immersed in his job and plans in the Organization to stop spending time with him, except out of duty, and that the only conversations they had anymore were about making Axel do the dirty work for him so he could reach the top fast.

It was a bland existence but also a painless one.

“Lea!” someone shouted down the hall. He turned his head and saw Riku walking up to meet him.

“Yo.” Axel acknowledged. “Need something?”

Riku scanned the hall. “Where are Roxas and Xion?” he asked, turning to Axel.

“The fairies dragged them for fittings.” The redhead explained, remembering the dirty look they had shot him as they took in the sight of the dark Organization XIII robe in his body, instead of the garments they had made for him.

It's not like he disliked the clothes or anything – in fact, he thought it fitted him, even though they resembled the coat quite a bit, with the range of colors going solely from grey to black. It was a safe choice considering the fairies didn’t know anything about him, much less his color spectrum preferences. Still, he felt somewhat annoyed there was nothing flame-related about his wardrobe – he was no seamstress, nor had he ever picked a needle to sew a button, yet he figured they could take his fondness for fire spells and make it a theme.

Riku signed, shoulders slumping slightly, jaw relaxing a bit. He put a hand on his right pants’ pocket and took out 2 gummiphones, extending his arm for the redhead to grab them. “King Mic – I mean, Mickey,” he corrected himself, hastily “Left these phones for them.”

Axel seized them and stared at their unlocked screens, his reflection glaring back. He owned one himself – the cricket in Sora’s hood had gathered information and shared it among all of the guardians’ phones the night before they left for the Keyblade Graveyard, but Axel felt no need in reading whatever he had written since he already knew everything he needed to know regarding Xehanort’s plans to take Kingdom Hearts and the lengths he had come to accomplish it.

In all fairness, he was positively sure he knew more than the rest of the guardians. His suspicion came true when he searched for "Castle Oblivion" on the database of the shared journals and found only a couple of lines talking about Naminé. There was no information about the events that had transpired there – nothing about him, Larxene, Vexen, or Marluxia nor the battles against them or the replica, Marluxia’s and Larxene’s attempts of destroying his heart and making him a puppet, forgotten as if they never existed.

He was glad to be out of record on that one. Memories of those times at Castle Oblivion were rather unpleasant, with him acting as the ruthless assassin he gained a reputation for. He remembered the emptiness as he manipulated everyone around him to his accord, feeling nothing as he watched his flames engulf Vexen and burn the scientist away, as he used the replica’s troubles of being a clone of the real Riku to kill Ienzo with the pretext of gaining more power than his original, making him stronger so he could defeat the silver-haired boy and claim an identity of his own instead of just being a shadow.

He felt rather ashamed for that one, especially when he found out Xion was a replica herself.

“Thanks.” He said but before he put them away, the redhead paused, an idea instantly forming in his mind like someone had switched a lightbulb above his head “Did you try calling – “

“Of course, I did.” Riku huffed and shook his head. “They’re both off. We tried tracking the gummiphones down too, although Chip and Dale were unable to.”

Axel put the gummiphones away in his pockets, crossed his arms, and rested his back on a nearby bronze pillar. He regarded the silver-haired boy in front of him who in turn seemed to be watching an old, moving painting of a lean, blond boy that appeared to be trying to pull a sword from a stone. A light shone down on the sword and the blond gripped the golden handle with both hands, yanking it out with too much force, causing him to lose balance and stumble backward out of the painting.

"They're probably on Destiny Islands by now," Axel said, more reassuring than certain.

Riku nodded, eyes still on the canvas.

“So, you’re going home?” The redhead questioned and Riku shook his head.

Aquamarine eyes regarded him, a blank expression on his face. "Not yet. I have to go to Radiant Garden first."

Now, that got Axel’s curiosity. “Oh? Why?”

“There’s something I have to give to Ienzo and the others.”

Axel snickered. “It seems to me,” he continued, smirking, “That the “Keyblade Master” got promoted to “Delivery Boy”.”

Riku gasped loudly, his aquamarine eyes widening a fraction, taken aback by Axel’s comment.

Noticing Riku’s shock, Axel’s smirk faded away. It felt like he had just pressed a hidden button that even the silver-haired boy didn’t know of.

A pang of regret clenched Axel’s stomach. “Hey…” he started but Riku regained his composure fast and frowned in return at the redhead.

“I’m going.” He announced. “Don’t forget to give the gummiphones to Roxas and Xion," Riku added distantly and turned to leave.

Riku’s abruptly cold demeanor towards him because of a stupid joke made his pulse speed and he straightened up, disengaging his back off the pillar. "You know, what?" Axel smiled coldly, "I'd rather have you hand them yourself. Throw in a couple of apologies as well."

Riku humphed. “That’s rich coming from you.”

Axel felt one of his forehead veins twitch. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You didn’t kidnap Kairi just to see Sora again…” He eyed the redhead, studying him. “You wanted to lure him out and use Kairi to turn Sora into a Heartless. That way, Roxas could be reborn.”

Axel narrowed his eyes. “Yes,” he admitted, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “I wanted my best friend back and I used Kairi for it, but I apologized to her over and over, to the point she told me not to do it anymore!” he refrained from shouting at Riku by clenching his hands around his biceps.

It bothered him how many people he manipulated in the past just to get what he wanted. He screwed up so many times and he regretted every moment his selfish needs ended up hurting the people he befriended and cared about.

It had started as a way to fill the hollow cavity in his chest – as his friendship with Roxas and Xion grew, he began to feel close to whole again, the ties and memories with the young Keyblade Wielders igniting a feeble, small yet warm flame in the absence of his heart. When both of them were gone, the flame grew weaker and weaker, day by day, and a familiar emptiness started to set upon the redhead. Desperate to not let it extinguish, Axel betrayed the Organization one last time, not caring if it earned him a death sentence, and set out to retrieve his friend, unconcerned by the moral ways to archive it, even though Roxas no longer remembered him as his friend and was, at the time, safer inside Sora than free with him.

Axel felt his heart tightening and a lump forming in his throat. Riku signed.

“Kairi seemed to forgive you. I think she goes as far as considering you as a friend now,” Riku said, calmly “Although, there’s one person you didn’t apologize to.”

Axel snorted. “I’m not apologizing to you.”

Riku rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say it was me.”

Axel raised an eyebrow, waiting for his answer.

“I’m not sure it matters anymore, either way.” He confessed, looking down at the floor, a grim expression adorning his face. “I do owe Roxas an apology, though…”

Recalling Sora’s words in Betwixt and Between, Axel said “You can tell him that yourself.”

Riku fidgeted, pulling his leather right glove with his left. “I know…” He bit his lower lip. “He hates me.”

“No denying there.” Axel agreed wholeheartedly. “I happen to hate you as well, pretty boy." The redhead grinned playfully, hoping the Keyblade Master didn’t get offended this time at his joke. “Got it memorized?”

Riku chuckled. “I guess I can live with that, Axel.”

“It’s _Lea_ to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. It took forever to write.
> 
> I wanted more moments between the guardians, especially between the "sidekicks". They almost robbed us of the Riku/Terra interaction and I was fuming. Thankfully, the Re:Mind and Limit cut episode put some hot towels on the fans, including me.
> 
> I'm positive Disney, and maybe Pixar, rushed Nomura and Square to release the game. Although I think it's nice they made up for it and listened to all the fans' requests and tried to deliver them. 
> 
> Any suggestions or constructive criticism is also welcomed in this fic.


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